My name is Emma Bell and my mission is to enable women who feel invisible to discover who they truly are so that they can be successful and happy on their own terms.
Do You Feel Invisible?
Do you feel invisible – even to yourself? Have you grown up hearing messages about who you are, how you should behave and what you can aspire to? Do you still identify with the rules and limitations applied to you by others in the past? If you’re like many of my coaching clients, you’ll find comfort in the familiarity of these old messages, even if they no longer serve you. You may even doubt that another way is possible. Your true self has become invisible, buried deep beneath your conditioning.
Do you want to know how to overcome anxiety and low self-esteem?
I have worked with hundreds of clients who believe they aren’t enough. These women struggle daily with anxiety and low self-esteem, regardless of whether they are a CEO, a lawyer, a stay at home mum, a teacher, an empty-nester or a retiree. I listen to how their ideas about themselves are still shaped by their conditioning; the messages that they received as they were growing up. They each believe that the conditioned ‘them’ is who they truly are. That could not be further from the truth. I have created this site for them – and for you.
How will my website help you? On this site you can:-
I used to be an invisible woman.
I used to feel invisible. I believed that I had to be perfect to be loveable. I was a perfectionist who needed to achieve 100% in everything all of the time. Of course, I also knew that I wasn’t good enough to be ‘perfect’ and therefore no external validation was ever sufficient to prove to me that I was. But every day I kept trying, and berating myself for failing.
Why do we always compare ourselves to others?
Comparing myself to others was an addiction I just couldn’t quit. It wasn’t my only vice – I was also addicted to the opinion of others – did they think I was clever enough, pretty enough, kind enough? My decisions were driven by what other people would think – about my choice of career as a lawyer, where to work, who to go out with, how to be in friendships or more intimate relationships.
Our anxiety is familiar, so we put up with it without realising that there’s a better way to live.
The upside (or so I thought) about perfectionism is that it made me work really hard. I felt stressed and anxious most of the time. I was rewarded for my hard work by being promoted at the age of thirty to partner – pretty young given the standards set by the large Scottish law firms at that time. I thought that that might be the end of it, that I could relax a bit, that I could loosen the stranglehold of how others saw me. But the stress only increased. My sense of self-worth continued to be dependent on external validation. I was always just one step away from abject failure – from proving that I wasn’t good enough.
Anxiety can make you lose perspective
I felt like there was nowhere I could be myself.
Inevitably, the cracks started to appear in my mental health. The anti-depressants prescribed by my GP allowed me to function – or so I thought. And then, one Tuesday afternoon I sat in my car on the top floor of a multi-storey car park. My foot toyed with the accelerator, revving the engine. The bumper of my car nudged the parapet wall. I felt completely invisible, to others and, above all, to myself.
And then you hit rock-bottom.
I knew I wouldn’t do it – but I knew I had to do something. On the outside it looked like I was strong and capable, as if I had all the trappings of a successful life. On the inside I was crumbling. Up until that point I made sure that I projected just the right image to show how capable I was – and how likeable. I was afraid to show my true self, so I kept her hidden.
Want to be happy? Get to know who you truly are.
I had never taken the time to get to know who I am and what lies at my core. I became determined to strip my identity right back to find out who I truly am – to make the real me visible. I wanted to be happy and to be at peace. I knew that the only way to achieve this was to get to like who I am. That meant I had to get to know her. That was tough, but the quality of my life depended on it.
I researched hundreds of books on psychology, self-help, personal development. I worked hard at ‘project Emma Bell’. I was stunned to find that my authentic self was far richer and more interesting than my conditioned self had ever been – and much more fun too. I went from being invisible, to knowing who I am in my entirety – and liking her.
The secret to living a fulfilling life
I have now worked with hundreds of people who also feel invisible – and enabled them to discover who they truly are so that they can be successful and happy on their own terms. I work mainly with women, and the idea that the anxiety they are feeling comes from being ‘invisible’ to themselves and others really resonates with them. Those women now understand how to get rid of the recurring anxiety that they’ve been struggling with all of their lives. They have learned what to do to be happy and, that until they are happy, they can’t make others happy. Becoming visible to ourselves is vital to living a fulfilling life.
The True You
If you are intrigued and want to know more, you can get my new book ‘The True You’. If you are a woman who feels invisible, then your thinking, behaviour and how you relate to your children, husband, partner, friends and work colleagues is likely to be a result of your conditioning. Do you often feel guilty? Do you say ‘yes’ when you mean ‘no’? Are you struggling to be heard in relationships? Do you give too much? Do you keep having the same conversations with your teenage daughter, your husband, your mother? I’ve found that these feelings and tendencies usually come from living according to our conditioning, rather than living authentically. Making your authentic self visible is an enlightening, exciting and rewarding process. That’s the process I write about in The True You.
The True You gives you a step by step process for a happy life and fulfilling relationships.
If you feel invisible, then I am going to give you the exact process for discovering who you truly are so that you can live a happy life and have fulfilling relationships. In The True You, I explain how you became invisible, and how you can become visible again and discover what will make you successful and happy – on your own terms. I also share the golden rules for having great relationships with others, and how to overcome anxiety and fear and remain resilient for the rest of your authentically lived life.
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